[ADVICE] Running the Game (for Kids)

6 Tips for Getting Back to Basics and Teaching Kids DND

Earlier in the pandemic, maybe in 2022, my friend and I discussed whether I’d be interested in running games for kids at the public library. He worked there, and they had been looking to start a DND program because kids kept asking for it. I said yes without question, but it never really materialized at the time due to other projects and other life stuff (my fault; the library was very helpful and patient).

So when the opportunity arrived again at the beginning of this year, I fully committed to it and filled out all the requisite paperwork, set up the ages (4th - 7th graders), my time commitment, and waited. A few months later, the day I was running the game came, and I drove to the library, talked with the program manager, and walked into a room with eight 9 to 12-year-old kiddos.

You know that GM moment when you’re about to run a game, and you suddenly feel like, “Maybe I’m an idiot and bad at running games, and nobody has ever told me before, and I’m about to bomb this”? Imagine that feeling, except you’re a) in a new location where you’ve never run a game before, b) you have a bunch of kids who are very excited and constantly talking and who have no idea how to play, and c) you realize you've prepped how to teach kids how to play DND but not an actual session of DND.

So, all in all, I was scared shitless.

But! The session came and went. I pulled out idea after wacky idea. I did a chopped-and-screwed version of the Delian Tomb from MCDM (basically whatever I could remember about it off the top of my head). We made extremely abridged characters, and I just picked numbers for their stats after asking them what their characters were good and bad at. After an hour and a half, their parents came, picked them up, and it was done.

And it was probably one of the best gaming sessions I’d ever had.

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I want to try to give some advice I’ve learned after running several sessions for kids since that first one. This is mostly because I've found that running games for kids is not the same as running games for adults—not even a little bit.

So here are my top six tips for how to do it without pulling your hair out or causing the kids to have a bad time:

1. The players are going to change over time.

2. Not everyone is there to play the game you prepped.

3. Don’t focus on the math, but don’t dumb it down.

4. Foster the energy, not the focus.

5. Prep less, improvise more.

6. Celebrate the idiosyncrasies.

Let’s get into it!

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1. The players are going to change over time.

This is a difficult one, but you're probably used to it if you’ve run open games. Especially in a “program” or “club” setting, these kids usually have to race to the sign-up sheet because limited slots are available. And, because they’re kids, signing up for stuff a month in advance is a monumental task.

It sucks having a kid you liked and who was good for the table show up once and not show up again. It also sucks having an extremely disruptive kid show up session after session. But it’ll happen, and you have to roll with it. My advice is to not hold on too tightly to your prep (which I’ll talk about in a minute) and make sure whatever you’re doing that session is for the kids around that night’s table.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Don’t build things around specific characters or their backstories.

• Keep things generically fantasy-themed and relatively episodic.

• Build and improvise the session these kids want to play, not the kids you played with last time or what the platonic ideal of “kids” might want to play.

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2. Not everyone is there to play the game you prepped.

There will be the kid who doesn’t want to bite the adventure hook. There will be the kid who wants to blow everything and himself into smithereens. There will be the kid who is literally jumping out of their seat and goes practically cross-eyed when they look at a character sheet.

And, frankly, that’s hard to deal with in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re giving a worse session to the kids who showed up and are earnestly excited to play. Especially because that’s all of them, even the kids who are disruptive or can’t focus.

Remember that more than anything: ALL these kids are excited to play, they just won’t be able to articulate why and have none of the social conditioning that tells them to shut up and sit down. It’s part of the fun.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Every kid is different, and the reason they want to play will not match the reason another wants to play.

• Kids have little patience and no qualms about interrupting what they think will improve the session.

• You have a choice: double down and force square-shaped kids in circle-shaped holes OR accept you have excited kids who manifest that excitement differently and choose to celebrate it.

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3. Don’t focus on the math, but don’t dumb it down.

If you’ve got a precocious kiddo in your life (whether it be your literal child, a nephew or niece, a cousin, etc.), you know how incredibly dumb and shockingly smart they are at the exact same time. When you’re running games for kids, the thing they will have the least amount of patience for is you talking about the calculations for certain bonuses, statistical chance, or why certain choices make more sense mathematically.

But at the same time, they’ll surprise you with their quick-thinking and MacGyvering. They’ll say shit that will absolutely blow you away. In one of my sessions, the youngest kid, who was easily half the size of the other kids, spoke with a bit of that stereotypical kid lisp, and kept wanting to interrupt to talk about his pet dragon, gave this fucking answer when I had a puzzle involving a statue of a paladin asking the party to swear their oaths:

“I swear to never kill another person, nor desecrate any holy spaces or graves. Until I die, I swear this to you, great knight. Rest easy!”

I’m not shitting you, that came out of a nine-year-old’s mouth. I’ve had adults who couldn’t string together that kind of in-fiction answer. And it came immediately after him saying he wanted his dragon to blow him up to destroy the temple—which I didn’t ignore or brush away (and he did end up doing that very same session later).

TAKEAWAYS:

• Kids are smart, but they will quit paying attention when “play” starts to feel like “school.”

• Kids will absolutely surprise you with their improvisation if given the chance.

• Create an environment where all answers are welcome and celebrated, and you’ll get the random gold nugget that reminds you why you do this sort of thing.

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4. Foster the energy, not the focus.

I’m telling you, nothing will hone your GM skills faster than attempting to run a game for a group of kids who cannot stop talking or moving. Last session, I had a kiddo who was under the table, over in the corner, lying on the floor, practically playing their own game in their head. And, honestly, it was completely fine.

Here’s the thing: Kids are constantly told “no” in their lives. I know because I tell my own kid “no” all the time. So when they show excitement for a thing, sign up for it, and then later show up to it, one of the worst things you can do is tell them they’re having fun the wrong way or being disruptive to the rest of the group. Nothing crushes a kid’s spirit more than finding out in a social setting that they’re the weird one or the one who can’t sit still or the one who’s bad at math.

You’re the adult (presumably, I hope, because my newsletter is definitely PG-13 at best!), and you set the tone.

Now, that doesn’t mean you have to shift all the attention to a kid who is specifically disruptive (on purpose or otherwise); it means you don’t draw attention to it or call it out while always looking for opportunities to include that kid.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Kids are balls of energy, and that doesn’t change because they decide to pretend to be elves; in fact, that typically makes it worse.

• Don’t punish kids for being kids.

• It’s better to have a frenetic, fun game that doesn’t finish than an inflexible game that does.

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5. Prep less, improvise more.

It's pretty obvious if you’ve made it this far, but for the folks back who just learned about kids: they’re generally pretty bad at staying on task.

You can certainly make play aids, try to alleviate that expected pressure, make sure to have all the answers kids might ask, but I’d caution you to take a big step back and recognize you do not need to prep as much as you think you do. You can get away with a single combat encounter, a weird little freak NPC for them to help, a larger-than-life evil villain, and a puzzle.

You don’t need to make it more complicated than that. And frankly, you really shouldn’t make it more complicated than that. Sticking to tropes is great because not only is it simple to prep, media-literate kids will pick up on them and feel really smart for guessing what’s coming up next. They absolutely can’t help themselves.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Err on the side of under-prepping to make sure you work with what the kids bring to the table.

• Be ready to improvise for whatever nonsense comes out of the mouths of energetic nerdy kids.

• Stick to tropes that kids can pick up on. Kids love feeling smart, especially when it’s predicting what an adult is going to do.

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6. Celebrate the idiosyncrasies.

Every kid is different, and what they want/need is different, too. You may have some kids playing who grew up playing and want to bring their own character they made with their older sibling—that’s totally fine. You may have some kids who are extremely neurodiverse and have a really difficult time paying attention, doing math, or just socializing in general—also totally fine. You may have some kids who are here because their parents need a break—100% totally fine.

If you don’t remember any other tip than this one, you’ll be okay:

Everyone is here, and everyone wants to have fun.

That is the only obligation you have to the players at your table: did everyone have fun? That includes you as well, of course, but with kids, you may have to reevaluate your definition of “fun” to be something more aligned with what they want. Stick to shorter game times. Try the wacky voices. Be the loud and obnoxious adult who cares more about kids laughing and having fun than you being embarrassed. Make jokes at your own expense. Don’t treat the kids like babies.

Basically, have fun!

TAKEAWAYS:

• Every kid is different and that should be celebrated at the table.

• Create equity with all the kids by meeting them at their level without singling them out.

• If all else fails, adopt the “cool aunt/uncle” role and try to make them laugh.

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Huh. I guess it’s not so different than running games for adults.

Weird how that works. 😉

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